1.) “Torn”-Natalie Imbruglia. I associate this song with two things: middle school and masturbation. It’s the song that fuels every angst filled seventh grade melodrama. The boy don’t like you? You’re torn. Mom took away your gameboy. Should you give her the silent treatment or suck up and get it back? You’re torn. I have a breakup playlist on my computer. When a future boyfriend cheats on me, I will turn it on and sing away my misery. This song is the first on the playlist. All of this makes sense for a song with lyrics like “He was warm/ he was dignified/he showed me what it was to cry…I’m lying naked on the floor.” Then a bunch of straight dudes told me that they watch the music video on mute and jack off to Natalie rolling around on the floor. Driving alone at night, crying, hasn’t been the same since…
2.) “Strong Enough”-Cher. With Cher’s late ninties comeback record, she delivered the best break up songs of all time. I pray that someone cheats on me so I can sing these songs, alone, throwing things, at night. Alternative snobs would love to say the album meant nothing to the history of music, but it introduced the world to Auto-Tune. T-Pain and Z-100 hasn’t been the same since.
3.) “All is Love”-Karen O and the Kids. I really hear nothing but children on this record. I will never have kids. I’m too independent and paranoid to make a good parent, but I respect them. I wish I could write a whole post about this song but it really comes down to one thing: the song sounds like everything great about childhood.
4./5.) “Thirteen”-Big Star/ “1979”-Smashing Pumpkins. Now that I listen to the mixtape, I see that I put together a bunch of songs about growing up. Is this because I feel older or just because I left Florida, again? Either way, this song defines middle school the way “1979” defines driving in a car and singing with your friends, later at night.
6.) “The Man That Got Away”-Judy Garland. I also seem to be obsessed with breakups too. What the fuck is wrong with me, today? Am I a love feined Peter Pan or something? Either way, Judy knows how to sing that pain.
7.) “Silver Stallion”-Cat Power. Lyrics never sound like the music. “1979” has the worse lyrics ever, but it sounds like high school. As Cat Power gently unrolls her cover, she whispers the way I imagine a stallion running on a hill should sound like in a romantic movie.
8.) “Total Eclipse of the Heart”-Bonnie Tyler. It’s as tacky as the video, as nonsensical as dancing ninjas, and as emotional as Bonnie Tyler’s tears. It was the greatest song ever, but I associated it with a friend. When we stopped speaking, I realized how songs and places are associated with people, and how easily something can ruin because of old memories.
9.) “Science Fiction/Double Feature Reprise”-Rocky Horror. I think Rocky lives on, because despite the tackiness, it drags emotions out of people. It’s about freaks tearing each other apart. It’s ridiculed like those who love it. That’s why they watch it every weekend. I went to Rocky after a friend died and I associate this song with her. It’s not a sad song, but it’s sad for me.
10.) “Free”-Cat Power. “True romance when you dance/free/don’t be in love with the autograph/just be in love when you scream that song on and on.” No lyrics ever told the power of pop fandom, it’s freeing quality, as well as this song.
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