What It Feels Like For A White Boy

I despise weight rooms not for just for their stench, bacteria, and heat, but also because of how weak and powerless they make me feel. Television, magazine, and movie images of beefy gods stare back at us at the grocery store and the living room. Would someone please show me a successful skinny white boy who isn't an annoying quirky hipster or nerd. Both major media corporations and the blogosphere LOVE to complain about how our culture makes girls feel the need to purge and do aerobics till their dead and skinny. What about how society tells boys they need to be all meat and bulk? The girls who lament the treatment of woman tell me to eat a hamburger and do some bench presses. Ever wonder what it feels like to be a skinny white gay boy? I feel like my body image will never match up to my intellect or creativity because I'm neither fat not muscular. Sometimes I feel like it's better to weigh as much as Noah Hill than be myself. I mostly hang out with girls and they're aloud to be thin. Why not me?

Today, like last summer, I lifted weights at the gym. I felt no release or positivity. I just felt ugly. Then I saw across the gym a forty year old man lifting as many weights as me. From the look in his eyes, I could tell he way trying to relive his past flory days. He wanted bulk. He was trying to be something he's not. I'm saying goodbye to the weights once and for all. I love my yoga and my swimming. Yet, I still feel sucked into what TV has told me. Boys should not be thin, the tv says and I don't understand why. Even Zac Efron, a pretty skinny boy, has gone all hairy and buff. But I won't let myself do that. I won't be sucked into the status quo. I want to be like Monique. I want to love myself for being thin. It's not my fault I have a fast metabolism, anyways.

I feel as if I'd feel better about this if I had some sort of roll model. My own personal Monique or Juno. But unfortunately, it's wrong to sing a song about what it feels like for a white skinny boy.

Songs For Summer!

1.) Summer Girls. Although Katy Perry annoys me as much as a party girl from "Fort Laudy," U can't ignore this song. She may have the ego of Ke$ha and Lady Gaga without the originality or ridiculousness (sorry, Katy, banana outfits and blue hair don't make you "quirky") but she has Dr. Luke and he knows how to write a summer anthem by sticking to the genre's strong points: simplicity, stupidity, and unforgettableness. P.S. Katy, you ain't Dylan. This song doesn't tell a story. HUGS AND KISSES!

2.) Can't Be Tamed. Ladies and gentleman, slutty birdlike Miley viva la Britney Overprotected era has arrived. Despite her faux Christian image, Miley desperately wants the gay's attention and on this track she demand it. The song has the dark synth perfect for a badass gay dungeon. It follows the "Slave 4 U" sound while reversing the message. She isn't our slave bound to break free and shave her hair. She's a bad ass mother fucker even Mickey Mouse can't tame.

3.) Bulletprood. Okay, not to brag but this was my jam a year ago. Thanks to z100, it's now your song too and I'm happy that it is. Everyone needs to know this punk disco one hit wonder.

4.) Alejandro. Personally, I'm not crazy for it but we live in Gaga's world. She demands we return to the sound of Ace of Base. We must obey!

5.) Hollywood. "Hollywood infected your brain
You wanted kissing in the rain
Oh oh, Living in a movie scene
Puking American dreams"

That's just the hook. Tell me a genre more daring than pop right now, bitches. I don't see one. Eat this and swallow it, MIA. You're not the dangerous one anymore.