Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Bob Dylan. Do I Love or Hate Him Either Way He Makes Me Feel Just Like A Woman But Breaks Like A Little Girl


I used to hate Bob Dylan's music. Before I listened to his Greatest Hits, everyone told me he was the a genius cowboy crooner sent from God. When my itunes imported all of my dad's music, I stumbled across his tunes and found them... underwhelming. To me, it sounded like catchy folk music, not groundbreaking masterpieces. I forgot I grew up in a post Lilith Fair era. Singer songwriters surround my every move. They weren't always there. After learning "I Want You" by heart and singing it out my car window, I became addicted. And then mesmerized. And then an emotional atomic bomb. I thought I fell in love with him. Then, I hear he plays his concerts for "himself only." By that, I mean he gets drunk, closes his eyes, and refuses to speak to the audience. If he really does this, I don't like him anymore. If you play music not to open minds or for a crowd, then stay in your bedroom. I don't believe that artists create art to keep it hidden. They want to show it. THAT'S for someone else. But if this is fake, then he's to simply put it, the mother fucking shit!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Ten Reasons New York Is Better Than Florida In No Order

Yeah, I met Kelly Cutrone. Bet you're all jealous!


Sorry, I haven't blogged in a month or two. I've been busy with my big move. I'm finally here in New York! Thank the lord Jesus Courtney Love. I've been waiting to get out of South Florida since I was seven! So, I decided to start my first blog from my new home with a list of why the Empire State tops the Sunshine State.
- Celebs in New York send tweets inviting their fans to chat with them for four hours in the park, then give you pizza, have you hand pizza to the homeless, ask strangers to leave when they are racist, take a photo with you, give you fashion week tickets, a shirt, and career advice. Kelly Cutrone>Gloria Estefan. For those who missed this amazing event, she spoke to kids our age about how we need to get realistic about life, work harder, expect success to come not over night, watch out for your twenty-seventh year, and follow our dreams. Everyone needs to read her book, If You Have to Cry Go Outside. It's a fucking God send! Way better than the Bible and a lot more helpful! Watch out for her new scripted show with the Gossip Girls folk.
-The Subway. I will not have to drive on I-95 for a very, very long time. I prefer rubbing elbows with dirty old men then getting honked at by angry Cuban business men very, very much.
- Musicians who DON'T play techno actually perform here. Shocking, right?
-Can you say $3.00 falafel?
-They have culture. By culture, I do not mean Weiland whales, I mean high art culture!
-New York's homeless citizens dress really chic. I'm not kidding. I confused a bag lady for a model and I mean that as a compliment. Naomi Campbell? Bird lady? What's the difference!
- New Yorkers understand that money doesn't make you fashionable and that the fashionable don't always have money.
-People read magazines besides OK and US!
- In New York, a lot of people understand you can have fun without a club.
- Everyone's openly rude!