Long Time No Blog

I never finished my 11/23 series because of school over load. So, today, I will make my final prediction of who will win the billboard 200 top spot.

1.) Universal marketed LADY GAGA THE FAME MONSTER perfectly. Due to the SNL performance, the video, the Gossip Girl episode, and the interviews, Gaga has made her "art," not her personal life, the center of the blogosphere. Although labeled as a "reissue," Monster is one track short of being a full album and thus, is Gaga's sophomore effort. The first single sits atop the itunes charts. Add that to the three buying options and Gaga is poised for her first week ever atop the album charts. Unless, SUSAN BOYLE I DREAMED A DREAM sells everywhere the way she has on Amazon of course. For the last four months, she has sat atop Amazon's album sales... and that's only as a preorder. Her singles have flopped but middle aged white woman don't download like Gaga's fans. They buy Simon Cowell endorsed albums. Gaga's #1 single train may actually prevent her from taking the album throne.

2 OR 3.) ADAM LAMBERT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT has not been heading down the road critics paved for it in May. Following his defining Idol performances, Lambert graced Rolling Stone covers and sold out stadiums. In October, his album's presales rocketed him to the top of Amazon charts; however, his first single has failed to catch on. His album is both too safe and too risky. The cover exploded into an array of "too gay" or "amazing" blogosphere controversy. His single sounded too mainstream but failed to rock mainstream radio. As with his rocky balance of his gay lifestyle and flamboyant performances, Adam Lambert can't seem to decided whether he wants to rock soft or hard and has forfeited the top spot in the process. Maybe he should have let some no names, not Linda Perry, produce his record. He became a star for his newness. Did we really want to him Lambert work with Max "Britney Spears/Backstreet Boys" Martin?

4.) RIHANNA RATED R will be RiRi's first flop. It lacks an "Umbrella" and her lyrics sound dark. Whereas Gaga's risks lead to rewards, RiRi's will only lead to a perfectly paved way for alubum #5 to serve as a comeback or destroy her chances of one name idoltry. After three flopped singles, the album's fate looks doomed.

5.) Poor Shakira. She expected SHE WOLF to make her dream of one named fame viva la Michael, Prince, Britney, or Madonna a reality. Everyone, including Shakira, knows that until you reach superstardom in America you are not a global icon. Wisely, she took risks by going down the Crystal Castles root to accomplish this feat. "Hips Don't Lie" pushed Shakira to the brink of that stardom. Unfortunately, her new singles lack that zip and zam, limiting Shakira to only Janet Jackson level fame.

Ten Reasons Why Walt Disney's Pinnochio is the Scariest Movie EVER

1.) It's about a fucking puppet...who talks...and walks...without strings....and hangs out with a cricket.

2.) The fairy is a six foot tall Amazonian size Jean Harlow.

3.) A toy maker wants a kid. REALLY BAD.

4.) It's about a fucking puppet.

5.) A whale eats everyone but they live.

6.) Boys turn into donkeys.

7.) That creepy Stromboli guy. Why is Sam Lufti in a 1942 Disney movie?

8.) Foxes just prounce around the city in suits.

9.) Everyone makes money off of little kids.

10.) It's about a fucking puppet.

Lady Gaga The Fame Monster...Could the Princess of Pop Beat The Princess of R&B?

What's at Stake: Pretty much nothing. The Fame initially bowed at #4 and then stayed there for a year, making it the highest selling album of the year. Since this isn't technically a new album, just a reissue, industry analysts will label a debut north of #5 as a success. The sales of her new singles from the reissue matter much more.

For Her: Gaga's fan base and four #1 radio hits have transformed her into the only artist who released a debut album this decade likely to remain a household name in 2035. Her image as an envelope pushing, avant-garde, pop celeb makes any scandal seem like a publicity stunt to please her fans. Combine that with the great sales of "Bad Romance," her "one-hour music video" Gossip Girl episode, the sold out dates on her Monster Ball Tour 2009, the multiple collector's editions, her humbleness, her fans rapid purchase of anything gaga, and the positive buzz surrounding the cover and she could have a #1 album. Her "love for her fans" makes every obvious corporate attempt to get cash (ten special editions, really, Gaga?) seem like a gift from the avant pop Goddess to us. It's technically a reissue, but considering it contains eight new tracks it's pretty much a new concept record people are DYING to hear.

Against Her: It's still a reissue. Considering the economy, many people will just download the 8 new songs from itunes.

Where She's Likely to Land: Regardless, she still wins. Gaga, like Madonna, is about the singles, not the album. Expect her to steal the top spot or second place. Either way, Gaga doesn't loose. Beware, Shakira and RiRi, beware.

Biggest Day In Music of 2009...But Who Will Win?

On November 23rd, five of pop's biggest stars will release their new albums and each star has a lot to lose. So, over the next few weeks I will make a prediction on where each star will stand when their albums debut stateside. I begin today with Rihanna.

RIHANNA RATED R: What's at stake: Following Good Girl Gone Bad, her career high, Rihanna seemed on the verge of icon status. Her squeaky clean image, countless hit singles, muscularly perfect body, and starbound talented boyfriend made her easily the new millennium's star most likely to have a timeless career in the vein of Madonna, Britney, or Janet. She was already one name status. Yet, with one punch her flawless image crashed because of someone else's actions. We saw her as a perfect, powerful, and confident woman but even she suffered from being human. The attention has shifted from her music to her personal life. Rihanna is set to release her third album. Historically, if an artist's third album falters a tiny bit from previous records, their career is over. This is her True Blue, Born in the USA, Bad, and Fan Mail. This is the most important album of her career. Will she be Brandy or Janet? It's up to 11/23 to decide.

For her: America still loves her and wants her to succeed. Unlike Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears, she was not in control of her recent scandal. She did not ask for it. Furthermore, no Rihanna lead single has ever flopped or debuted outside of the top 100. Her first single has been in the top five on itunes for several days.

Against her: Unlike Kylie Minogue, who followed her battle with cancer with songs about "Speakerphones" and "2 Hearts," Rihanna's troubles have leaked into her latest singles. Rihanna sings fluffy guilt pleasures, not dark gothic influenced pop songs about guns. "Russian Roulette" met no radio air play and critical disappointment, a rarity in RiRi's career. Her label quickly released another flop and then "Hard," a catchy, but not overwhelmingly memorable club ready jam. It's the end of the decade and unless she delivers she may go the way of the Snuggie.

Where she's likely to land: #2 or #1. If "Russian Roulette" stops slipping down the charts and her 20/20 interview gets people talking, she may barely make it to the top spot. However, if Adam Lambert's song rises and Lady Gaga's buzz continues, she may join Tiffany and the Pet Rock as relics of the past. 2010 is on the horizon and she could easily be left in the era of the cellphone.