Real Boys

I told my friends that real straight boys attend Sarah Lawrence. My friends laughed. In their dictionary, "real straight boys" (whatever the fuck "real means." That's another blog post!) drink beer, punch each other, and ignore their own feelings. SLC boys get emotional and read Camus. Today, at our swim meat, we played against a team that had so called "real boys." I decided, for my own humor, to record quotes from the other team, while they changed in the locker room, and post them next to some SLC boys' quotes.

"REAL BOY QUOTES:"

"I'll rape you in real life and then I'll rape you in Madden."

"You're a faggot. You're a faggot. You're a faggot."

"I never get to masturbate because my roommates always home."

"I could have had her pussy."

There's so many things wrong with these statements. They're homophobic, stereotypical, and anti-women. Rape, like the clap, is never funny. Meanwhile, I hear Sarah Lawrence boys says things like this:

"Camus is God."

and

"I love Nicki Minaj."

Straight boys said all these things, but if they went to the other college, people would call them "fags." Since when did homosexuality make you sensitive and intelligent? Yes, there's many bright queers, but like any group, we have a lot of stupid folks, too. Why does society expect heterosexual men to lack emotion and be stupid as shit. It's as wrong as Disney movies telling little girls they need a prince to find happiness. Yet no one seems to be standing up and saying that boys can be smart and sensitive too.